If I were a canine only,
I could live by olfactory
And smell my way to mindfulness.
I could sniff any crotch I like,
And bite anyone’s ass in spite.
I could slobber all over your beautiful face
And dry hump anyone in your private little space.
I could lick my privates in public,
then thrash your pretty toes
and go out and urinate, even in a school zone.
I can bark when I like,
Without disturbing the peace,
And you would always take me for walks,
Never being too busy for me.
I can devour that sweet pussy,
Cat, but no blame in that
Because old dogs will always be just like that.
So, if I were a canine,
I could live the American Dream
Without making a damn thing,
And no matter what shape or color,
I would never be called a “stupid motherfucker.”
I can caress drunken homophobic balls,
And only you would be accused
Of having gay sex with a dog.
It would be no matter to me
Because we love dogs unconditionally,
So when I imagine a pretty girl holding me,
Even when I bite,
I’m in the mood for canine mindfulness;
Just wanting something impulsively nice.
written by Earl Yarington @2019, all rights reserved. Also published under pen name yogiortner.