Sex Dolls and COVID-19: Why It May Just Be a Good Idea

Credits Premium Dolls: Mandy Mini Petite Doll

The following is intended for adults only and is sexual in nature. Discretion is advised.

I never thought I would do it. In fact, I wrote a couple of posts a while ago joking about getting one. But, as the cliché goes, “never say never.”

After a 21-year relationship ended, I thought it would be good to try the dating scene. Afterall, I married my first sweetheart and never had the dating experience that so many people had.

I looked around, chatted a bit, but I realized two disturbing things. First, the women that attracted me were all in their 20s. Though I appreciated the intellect and experience of women my age, it felt purely platonic. I had no or little attraction to women my age. Yet, the idea of going that young (I am 49) was not acceptable to me. I teach students that age, and, for me, there is little difference between a 22-year old and a child. When she is still beautiful, she will have to care for my elderly self.

Second, I recognized that I did not feel good about me. I am 25 pounds overweight and no longer look like that black-belt hunk with six-pack abs. In fact, I kind of dreampt about hooking up with a Webcam performer but realized that I could not do it. I was too worried about doing cam-to-cam. I know they are performers and they work for money, but I just don’t feel good about how I look.

Men like me are supposed to be young grandpas or old pops. We should be sure of ourselves. Then, just as I was separating, COVID-19 hit.

A Feminist Disclaimer:

First, I can appreciate feminism. I have a PhD in it, but those that say a sex doll objectifies women is making an oversimplistic argument. I hope to demonstrate that here. Woman-like is not a woman; child-like is not a child, and a doll is not a human being. No, a sex doll cannot replace a real, vibrant, and alive human being, but having one can make a lot of sense. I would suggest that the first step to equality in the sex doll industry is to ask for and buy more male dolls. I will explain the “child-like” comment later.  

Isn’t it Perverted?

As one working toward certifying to be a sex therapist, I find the shame we instill about sexuality and human sexual expression to be very tragic on many levels. If you follow my journalism, you know my rants: shame is at the heart of sexual abuse and child sex abuse. Silencing and silence cause harm. It’s not the other way around. Adults can have toys, both sexual and non-sexual, that can enhance their lives and pleasure. What’s wrong with us exploring our bodies and finding enjoyment in new things and situations while being safe and consenting with a partner? In short, no, it’s not perverted. Besides pervert means originally to turn away from one’s faith (convert: to convert to one’s faith). It has nothing to do with sexuality.

 Sex Doll Tips

The Pandemic is a Good, Safe, Excuse

Because we cannot date or slap asses (or anything else) at this time, a doll seems a very safe alternative to the casual dating scene. I noted my own cautions, but there is nothing wrong with trying something new. Dolls can be very safe ways to have sex and explore. A word of caution, though, the doll experience is not that different from sex with a living person. Sometimes it works, and sometimes that position you like just does not feel the same. Take time to learn your doll and how to care for her.

Exploring and Buying

There are many sex doll places, but I recommend two: Premium Dolls and Annie’s Dollhouse. I have purchased dolls from both places. They are legitimate, and you will usually have the doll in two weeks, though the pandemic may slow it just a bit. If you are another seller, I am happy to do a future piece or review. Just contact me through “Contact.” I did not take any money or get anything from these companies.

Silicone or TPE

Both companies have TPE dolls, and I recommend them over silicone. If you have a silicone dildo, you know that it doesn’t quite feel like real skin and is harder. TPE feels like real skin but can be more delicate. You have to care for it. Since it’s like skin, it can tear and get damaged. She cannot heal like us, so use caution. Premium dolls and Annie’s Dollhouse have good videos that show what the doll looks and feels like:

Here is a video from Annie’s Dollhouse:

Size Matters: Go Smaller

These dolls have metal skeletons, and I think a good rule of thumb is to double their weight in your mind. Yes, dead weight, is very, very heavy. If you are John Cena, you can get a regular sized doll, let’s say 100 pounds, but I warned you; be careful. I am not saying this to disrespect your masculinity or strength, but you want to be able to move the doll around. A 100-pound doll is more like 200 pounds. Unless you make love and get rough with your sleeper sofa often, I would advise you to go light.

Mandy and “Izzy

The first one I bought was Mandy (a petite doll in picture above) from Premium Dolls. Yes, she is only 100 centimeters and 33 pounds. After I ordered her at $749, I thought, “gosh, this doll is really small.” I decided to order a more custom doll (what I shall call Izzy) from Annie’s Dollhouse. She was a big gal, 52 pounds and about 4’5” with full breasts. She costs $1800. When I got her, the quality was super. However, she is way too heavy for me. After spending an hour wrestling with her, I realized that sex was not going to work. With my bad disk and middle age, I cannot do the sexual gymnastics I needed to enjoy the experience. Frankly, she did not look like she enjoyed it either. I put her away, and have little idea what to do with her. I may take her to sexuality workshops if I don’t have to fly, and selling used sex dolls on eBay is not an option.

Don’t get me wrong, Anne’s Dollhouse is a great company. They have custom dolls and some smaller, but I made an error in going too big. Now I know this may freak some out because 4’5” is about what a 10-year old’s height is, but keep in mind that child-like is not a child. These are dolls, and the weight alone calls for a smaller size. If you work on a farm or in construction, you may be able to throw around 100 pounds pretty easy, but take my advice and go smaller first. They are much cheaper.

I found that Mandy, at 33 pounds, may be girlish, but she is easy to clean, and I can get her into position easily. She is stunningly beautiful, a work of art. The only caution is that if you are hung like a horse (you bastard), then oral may be a bit of a challenge (her eyes look like they will pop out of her head) … well, okay. I gave it away, but it still feels like the real thing. Even with a smaller doll size, she is more than apt (oral, vaginal, anal). You can go with a detachable vagina, and that makes sense for cleaning, but regardless, if you do anal or oral, you have to wash them after use. A lighter doll can sit up on the sink. A heavy one … well, be ready for a workout.

No Sounding Horns Needed

If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s not duck-like

Please be aware that Mandy is NOT a child doll. Though girlish, she has adult features. Child-like dolls are not illegal federally or in most states, and as one very knowledgeable in sex-related issues, I am against banning these dolls for therapeutic reasons. There is no evidence that such a toy causes abuse, and similar concerns have always shown to be more myth than truth, so while upsetting to some, remember that these are adult toys, not human beings. There is no such thing as a non-existent victim.

Nonetheless, childlike is not a child, nor is adult-like an adult. We do not call a duck, duck-like because, well, it’s a duck. However, the small size of some dolls may turn you off or on, so you need to consider your own tastes. Mandy, though, is a very good seller (been out of stock a couple times). I also purchased Alice from the same section. Breast size can vary because there can be a 5 cm difference during production.

Some Other Tips

If you like pretty soles (feet) like I do, then don’t get the standing doll from either place. They put metal plates on the soles that make them look ugly. I am not sure you want her standing around the house anyway. Mandy’s toes are floppy, except for the big toe that moves like a real big toe, but the Annie’s Dollhouse doll has metal in each toe. On both dolls the hands move and can be positioned. The whole body can.

You can get a warmer and voice for about $250 for each. With Annie’s Dollhouse, you can get a trans penis (because hetero guys like dicks … sh, don’t tell anyone), but it will only work with a detachable vagina. With both dolls, the warmer seemed to warm either the legs or arms. That was weird, and it felt like the doll had a fever. Not a good thing these days. The voice has a Cantonese accent and sounds too stereotypical for my enjoyment. I really suggest you keep the $250.

You can only use water-based lubricant on these dolls or you will ruin the skin. If you have erectile dysfunction or it takes your wing man time to get pumped up, you may want to use a cock ring or a lot of lubrication. The feeling during sex is pretty identical to real sex.

I like little black stockings, but they stained the doll’s skin. Be very careful with cloths because the skin stains. The stain will not come off. I found a bikini works well that has a white underlining, a good quality bikini that was washed and dried.

Yes, you have to take care of her skin. You can wash her in the bathtub like a person, but don’t put the head or neck under water. It will rust the skeleton. Pad dry her with a soft white cotton towel and apply baby power to her skin and gently rub it in. Once a month, cover her body in baby oil (30 minutes each site) to keep the skin soft and real.

You can scratch me anytime but not my dolly

Keep them away from kids and pets. If pussycat likes, one good scratch and say goodbye to the doll’s skin. With kids, it goes without saying, but find a good place to lock her in. I am not a fan of taking the head off and hanging the body on a hanger (too serial killer for me). It may cause a family member cardiac arrest, so I lay her down on the closet floor and lock the door when my kids are over. If for some reason you no longer want her, I strongly advise you don’t throw her in a dumpster. If so, expect the police to learn all about your doll at their amusement when someone calls 911 because a human body is in a dumpster. You can always call the place you bought her from for appropriate disposal.

Dolls can be therapeutic

Sex should = empowerment

These are only recommendations, and I suggest you speak to a sex therapist through AASECT if you suffered past abuse or are struggling sexually. This is not a therapeutic recommendation but only a recommendation from one that has used sex dolls and has a good deal of sex education. Sex therapists recommend dolls for clients for many reasons. Some people never had sex and are scared to be with a real person. A doll, since is looks and feels so real, is a very good introduction, and the sex feels identical. Such can help some people get over their anxiety.

I would hope that one day we’d consider sex dolls in sex education with teens, as this is a very safe and realistic way for them to learn about appropriate sex while taking away the dangers, but that is probably hundreds of years away. As long as we stay sex-negative, more people will get hurt than helped.

Survivors of sex abuse can also benefit because a doll cannot hurt them. The person is empowered and in control. Yes, many men faced sex abuse, too, so whether male or female, a doll may be a good way to feel better about sex and to get the sexual pleasure you deserve. You all deserve sexual pleasure.

Finally, a sex doll can give people an outlet that have atypical attractions or sexualities (sexual fantasies as well). When no companion is ever possible, a doll may not be a real human, but it can be loved and treasured. Others may have disabilities that make sex with others difficult.

Dolls are always there for you, and they never say no, unless you want them to. Please, treat them with respect, though, because they can last 2-10 years, maybe longer, if you truly treasure them.

As I always do, I share these things because we have to stop making sex and sexual expression bad, shameful, and inappropriate things. In this tough time, there is no shame in treating yourself to a little sexual doll play. Besides, it gives a guy chance to play with dolls.

Published by EarlY

I have a PhD in literature and criticism and have taught literature, technical, and research writing for over 16 years. I am also a graduate student in social work in my final year. My focus area is with men that suffered past abuse, sex offending against children and with paraphilia. I will also complete my sex therapist certification by next year as well.

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