For quite some time I’ve been interested in how men are affected by gender expectations. Like women, men are also put under pressure to “man up” and to shut up about their personal feelings. As one that has interned in prisons, learning to provide sex offender treatment, and one that has worked on many child pornography, solicitation, and rape and statutory rape cases, I realized that sex and silence go hand in hand. I also have experience researching on human sex trafficking and dealing with victims of abuse. Sex offenders and child abuse victims can sometimes be the same person. It’s called the cycle of abuse for a reason.

As a result, as a long-time professor of English and literature, I decided to learn clinical social work and to get my sex therapist certification. When we don’t talk about sex and our feelings, when we stigmatize or bury them, they often come out in very negative ways.

This blog is a place for poems, short stories, and articles about men and sexuality. I focus a good deal on paraphilia (“fetishes” or what some call sexual deviance) because the truth is that most most men have a paraphilia (there is 550 and counting); it’s just that their paraphilia does not necessarily cause harm. Some of my writing involves personal experience, and I provide this disclosure because I see value in it. If you are a client of mine, since I am interning, your therapy is about you, not me. I would, however be happy to discuss it. See my resume here.

NOTE: the material on this blog presents my opinions and feelings, and these opinions and feelings do not represent my employer, my agencies, or schools. Further, the material on this blog may be difficult and offensive to some. It may also trigger others. Discretion is advised. All photos, unless noted otherwise, are from Depositphotos and used by license.

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